Hi Snow Peak People, As we start talking more about performance, checking in, and giving feedback, I wanted to share something that’s been on my mind after a conversation with my sister the other night. We were talking about community, connection, and friendship—and how to balance outward connection with protecting your peace. The whole thing came up when she asked for advice on mediating a conversation between two people in her community—both convinced they were right. Each person came to her saying things like: “They violated my boundaries.” “They don’t respect me.” “I don’t owe them an explanation.” “I expected them to be a better friend.” We noticed that they were using the same words we often associate with psychological safety—boundaries, expectations, respect, and care. But instead of creating shared safety, they were being used as a barrier. Instead of creating clarity, they became a way to justify blame. There was no pause to ask: “Did I communicate my boundary as something I hold for myself, or was I using it as a rule to control someone else’s behavior?” “Am I assuming a lack of respect because they didn’t meet my expectations, or have I asked what respect looks like to them?” “Am I avoiding a conversation because I don’t owe them an explanation, or because I’m uncomfortable with what the conversation might reveal?” “Did I clearly express what I needed in this relationship, or was I expecting them to instinctively know?” After our call, I couldn’t stop thinking about how often I see similar dynamics—especially at work. The Unspoken Rules We Carry It reminded me of something I think about a lot—what I call an "inner playbook." We all carry around a set of unspoken rules about how people should treat us, how they should act, how they should respond. These rules are shaped by our experiences, our backgrounds, and what we’ve had to learn along the way. I don’t claim to be an expert in human behavior, but this is something I’ve been navigating for a long time. Growing up undiagnosed autistic, I always knew my brain worked a bit differently. It often felt like other people had been handed a guidebook on communication, relationships, and social interactions—and I just… hadn’t gotten a copy. But the truth is, there was never one playbook. Everyone has their own—we just rarely talk about it. Unspoken Expectations This feels especially relevant right now as we move through performance reviews and, more broadly, as we work toward shared goals. Performance reviews are meant to create clarity, foster growth, and align expectations—but how often do we assume alignment without actually confirming it? Are we holding others to expectations we never actually voiced? Are we interpreting someone’s actions based on what we think they should have known rather than considering how we communicated our needs? Do we have the same understanding of what support looks like for me, or has that conversation never happened? Do we agree on what success means, or are we each assuming the other already knows? Have we discussed how feedback is given and received, or are we both hesitant to bring it up? It’s so much easier to believe our own version of a situation—to assume intent, to assign meaning to someone’s actions. It’s much harder to ask. It’s risky. It can be uncomfortable. But real communication isn’t just about making ourselves heard—it’s about being willing to listen, clarify, and make space for different perspectives. Why This Matters This is why Communicate is one of our Six Behaviors at Snow Peak. Communication isn’t just about what we say—it’s about how we listen, how we clarify, and how we engage with perspectives beyond our own. Protecting peace doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations—it means having them with intention, so we don’t carry unnecessary tension forward. So maybe, in our next performance review, 1:1, or check-in, we pause and ask: “Is my expectation something I actually communicated?” “Am I assuming someone should know my needs, rather than expressing them?” “Am I open to hearing something that challenges my own story?” These things take time, and none of us will get it right all the time. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that clarity makes everything lighter. Conversations we avoid because they feel heavy only get heavier when they stay unresolved. But the simple act of asking, of naming our assumptions out loud, can change everything. So as we move into these conversations—whether about performance, boundaries, expectations, or just everyday interactions—I hope we can all: Give each other the benefit of curiosity. Take the risk of asking instead of assuming. Be open to hearing something we weren’t expecting. A Final Thought As always, my (virtual) door is open if you need support, have a thought to share, or just want to talk things through. And I encourage each of you to take that first step—to ask the extra question, to clarify before reacting, and to lean into conversation before frustration. A little openness can go a long way.