Navigating Cultural Differences in Parenthood

Grace

Welcome everyone to today's interview! We have a special guest with us, Ember Swift, a Canadian mother navigating the complex world of parenting within a Chinese-Canadian family. Ember, thank you for joining us.

Ember Swift

Thank you for having me, Grace. I'm excited to share my experiences and insights.

Grace

Ember, you mentioned the balance between your Canadian upbringing and your husband’s Chinese heritage. Can you tell us how that has influenced your parenting approach?

Ember Swift

It's been quite a journey. I find myself constantly trying to merge the values I grew up with and the expectations from my husband's culture. For instance, while I believe in shared parenting responsibilities, I’ve noticed that my husband, influenced by traditional Chinese norms, often looks to his mother for support rather than stepping in himself.

Grace

That must create some tension at home. How do you and your husband navigate those discussions around parenting?

Ember Swift

Absolutely, it does. We’ve had our fair share of arguments. Initially, I felt frustrated that I was doing most of the childcare while my husband relied on his mother. I’ve had to communicate my feelings openly, expressing the need for him to be more involved, especially since it's important for our daughter to see both parents participating equally.

Grace

You also mentioned your mother-in-law’s significant role in your household. How has her presence affected your dynamics?

Ember Swift

My mother-in-law has been a tremendous support, but it’s complicated. She moved in to help after our daughter was born, and while I appreciate her help, it often feels like I’m not just sharing parenting duties with my husband, but also with his mother. This leads to cultural clashes where I want a more modern approach, but I’m faced with traditional expectations.

Grace

That sounds challenging. Have you found any strategies that help in balancing those cultural expectations with your own?

Ember Swift

Definitely! What’s helped is creating a family dialogue about our values. We discuss what we want for our daughter regarding her cross-cultural identity. I also try to incorporate elements from both cultures in our parenting—like celebrating Canadian and Chinese holidays together, which helps bridge the gap.

Grace

What advice would you offer to other parents navigating similar cultural dynamics?

Ember Swift

I would say open communication is key. It’s important to express your feelings and needs clearly. Embrace the cultural differences as strengths, and work towards finding common ground. Remember, parenting is a partnership, and both voices should be heard.

Grace

Thank you, Ember, for sharing your story and valuable insights. It’s been a pleasure having this conversation with you.

Ember Swift

Thank you, Grace! I appreciate the opportunity to share my experiences.