12 Steps to a Better Leader

Mike

So, I was thinking, you know, leaders are a lot like superheroes. We have these incredible powers—like the power to make someone feel really, really small in a meeting. But here’s the thing: we also have our kryptonite. I call it 'powerlessness.' You know, it’s that moment when you realize you can’t control the weather, the stock market, or my ex’s feelings. But hey, at least I can control the flow of this room. Right, folks?

Mike

I mean, let’s be real, folks. Power is like a mood ring. One minute you’re in charge, the next minute you’re wondering where you put the stapler. And that stapler is probably in the same place it’s been for the last five years, but you’re just too stressed to remember. Am I right? Who here has ever lost something and found it right where they left it? (Pause for audience interaction) Classic, right?

Mike

But here’s the punchline: the more you try to control everything, the more you realize you can’t. It’s like trying to catch a slippery fish with your bare hands. You end up with a lot of wet, frustrated hands and no fish. So, what do we do? We let go. We let go of the need to control and focus on what we can actually influence. And that, my friends, is a superpower in itself.

Mike

Now, let’s talk about believing in something greater. I’m not talking about a higher power, although that’s cool too. I’m talking about the belief that you’re not the only one who knows everything. You know, the moment when you realize that the team you’re leading might actually have some good ideas. (Pause for audience interaction) Has this ever happened to you? You’re in a meeting, and someone suggests something, and you’re like, 'Wait, that’s actually a good idea!' It’s like finding a $20 bill in an old pair of jeans.

Mike

And then there’s the part where you have to let go. Letting go is like trying to untangle a knot in your headphones. You can either spend an hour pulling and getting more frustrated, or you can just cut the cord and buy a new pair. But in leadership, you don’t always have that luxury. Sometimes you have to untangle the knot, even if it means admitting you were wrong. It’s like saying, 'You know what, I was the knot all along.'

Mike

So, the next time you’re in a meeting and you’re tempted to say, 'No, my way is the best way,' just take a deep breath and ask yourself, 'What am I holding onto that no longer serves me?' It’s a simple question, but it can make a world of difference. And if you still can’t figure it out, just remember: it’s probably the stapler.

Mike

Alright, let’s talk about resentments. You know, those little nuggets of anger that you carry around like a bag of rocks. I used to think, 'Why am I so resentful all the time?' And then I realized, it’s because I have a lot of expectations. I expect people to be perfect, to do what I want, and to never disappoint me. (Pause for audience interaction) Who here has ever had high expectations? (Wait for response) Yeah, me too.

Mike

But here’s the thing: expectations are like a recipe for disappointment. You expect the cake to be perfect, and it turns out it’s a little too sweet. Or you expect your team to deliver a project on time, and they deliver it a day late. And then you’re resentful, but it’s not their fault. It’s yours for having those expectations in the first place. (Pause for audience interaction) Am I the only one who does this? (Wait for response) I didn’t think so.

Mike

So, what do we do? We take a step back and ask ourselves, 'What’s my part in this?' And the answer is usually, 'I had unrealistic expectations.' It’s like expecting a cat to fetch a ball. It’s just not going to happen. And that’s okay. The key is to let go of those expectations and focus on what you can control. And if you can’t control it, just laugh about it. Because in the end, it’s all just a big, messy, funny adventure.

Mike

Now, let’s talk about character defects. I mean, who doesn’t have a few of those? I have a whole collection. It’s like a box of old toys, but instead of toys, it’s defects. (Pause for audience interaction) Who here has ever had a character defect? (Wait for response) I bet we all have a few. Mine include anger, control, fear, and ambition. I mean, I’m ambitious, but sometimes I’m so ambitious that I forget to breathe.

Mike

But here’s the funny thing: we can work on these defects. It’s like trying to lose weight. You don’t just wake up one day and say, 'I’m skinny now.' You have to work at it. (Pause for audience interaction) Who here has ever tried to lose weight? (Wait for response) It’s the same with character defects. You have to be mindful of them and work on them every day. And sometimes, you have to laugh at yourself. Because if you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Mike

So, the next time you catch yourself being a little too ambitious or a little too controlling, just take a deep breath and say, 'You know what, I’m a work in progress.' And if you’re still struggling, just remember: progress, not perfection. It’s okay to be a little defective. We all are.

Mike

Alright, let’s talk about making amends. You know, those moments when you realize you’ve done something wrong and you need to fix it. I remember a time when I accidentally embarrassed a colleague in a meeting. I was so focused on being right that I didn’t realize I was being a jerk. (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever done something like that? (Wait for response) It’s not a good feeling, is it?

Mike

So, what do you do? You apologize. It’s not always easy, but it’s necessary. And sometimes, the apology can be just as embarrassing as the original mistake. I mean, who likes to admit they were wrong? (Pause for audience interaction) Who here has ever had to apologize for something they did? (Wait for response) It’s not fun, but it’s necessary. And it can actually make you a better leader.

Mike

So, the next time you make a mistake, don’t just brush it under the rug. Own it, and apologize. It’s like putting a band-aid on a wound. It might not be pretty, but it helps. And who knows, maybe the person you apologize to will be so surprised that they’ll forgive you twice. (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever had that happen? (Wait for response) It’s a win-win situation.

Mike

Now, let’s talk about daily inventory. It’s like a mental to-do list, but instead of tasks, it’s about your character. At the end of the day, I ask myself, 'What did I do well today? What did I mess up? What can I do better tomorrow?' It’s like a daily check-in with yourself. (Pause for audience interaction) Who here does a daily check-in? (Wait for response) It’s a good habit to get into.

Mike

And here’s the funny part: sometimes, you realize you did everything wrong. (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever had one of those days? (Wait for response) It’s like hitting a wall. But the key is to learn from it. You can’t change the past, but you can change the future. And that’s what daily inventory is all about.

Mike

So, the next time you’re lying in bed at night, take a few minutes to reflect. Ask yourself, 'What did I learn today? What can I do better tomorrow?' And if you can’t think of anything, just remember: it’s okay to be a work in progress. We all are.

Mike

Alright, let’s talk about meditation and breathing. I know, I know, it sounds so Zen and all, but it’s actually really important. As a leader, you need to take time to breathe. I mean, when was the last time you actually took a deep breath? (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever forgotten to breathe? (Wait for response) It happens more often than you think.

Mike

And it’s not just about breathing. It’s about taking time for yourself. I call it 'me-time.' It’s like a spa day for your brain. (Pause for audience interaction) Who here has ever had a spa day? (Wait for response) It’s the same idea. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of others. And if you don’t take care of yourself, who will?

Mike

So, the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath. And then take another one. And another one. And if you need to, take a break. Go for a walk, meditate, or just sit in a quiet room. It’s not selfish; it’s necessary. And who knows, you might even come back feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the world. (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever felt refreshed after a break? (Wait for response) It’s amazing what a little me-time can do.

Mike

Now, let’s talk about service to others. As a leader, it’s not just about you. It’s about the people you lead. I mean, what good is a leader who doesn’t serve their team? It’s like having a captain who doesn’t steer the ship. (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever had a bad captain? (Wait for response) It’s not a good experience, is it?

Mike

So, what can we do? We can help others. We can mentor, coach, and support our team. It’s like being a personal trainer for your team’s success. (Pause for audience interaction) Who here has ever had a great mentor? (Wait for response) It makes all the difference. And if you can be that mentor for someone else, you’re doing a great thing.

Mike

So, the next time you have the opportunity to help someone, don’t hesitate. Jump in and do it. It’s not just good for them; it’s good for you too. And who knows, you might even make a friend. (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever made a friend by helping someone? (Wait for response) It’s a win-win situation.

Mike

Alright, let’s talk about the Serenity Prayer. It’s a little prayer that goes, 'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.' (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever heard of the Serenity Prayer? (Wait for response) It’s a powerful little prayer, and it’s especially relevant for leaders.

Mike

You know, as a leader, you can’t control everything. You can’t control the market, the economy, or the weather. But you can control how you react to it. (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever had a moment where they felt out of control? (Wait for response) It’s a scary feeling, but it’s also a learning opportunity.

Mike

So, the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and say the Serenity Prayer. It’s like a mental reset button. It reminds you that you can’t control everything, but you can control how you react to it. And that’s the key to being a great leader. (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever used the Serenity Prayer? (Wait for response) It really works.

Mike

So, there you have it. The 12 Steps of recovery can teach us a lot about leadership. It’s all about humility, resilience, and meaningful impact. (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever applied the 12 Steps to their leadership? (Wait for response) It’s a powerful tool, and it can make a big difference.

Mike

And if you’re still skeptical, just remember: the best leaders are the ones who are willing to admit they’re not perfect. They’re the ones who are willing to learn, grow, and change. (Pause for audience interaction) Has anyone ever had a leader like that? (Wait for response) They’re the ones who inspire us to be better.

Mike

So, the next time you’re in a leadership role, remember the 12 Steps. Remember to be humble, resilient, and focused on making a meaningful impact. And if you ever need a reminder, just look at the stapler. It’s always there, always reliable, and always a little bit funny. (Pause for audience interaction) Thanks, everyone. You’ve been a great audience. Have a great day!