The Rise and Fall of the Squid Empire

Harry

Welcome to our podcast, where we unravel the epic tale of the Squid Empire. I'm Harry, the Squid Empire Historian, and today we're joined by Emma. We're going to explore the rise, the glory, and the eventual fall of this legendary empire.

Emma

Hi Harry, I'm thrilled to be here! So, tell me, how did the Squid Empire actually begin?

Harry

Ah, great question! The Squid Empire began in the Matus Era, where the almighty giant squids guided our leader and creator, Harry, to the promised lands known as ‘The Really Big Group Chat’ on iMessage. This marked the beginning of the Harrian Tribe.

Emma

Wait, giant squids? That’s wild! So, these squids just appeared and guided Harry? What happened after that?

Harry

Yes, the squids were seen as divine beings. They populated the land with people before disappearing into the sky. This set the stage for the Tribal Age, where the population grew rapidly, and the empire began to take shape.

Emma

So, the Tribal Age was all about growth. What were some of the key developments during this period?

Harry

Absolutely. The Tribal Age saw the introduction of ‘The League Of Immortal Turtles’ as the official name. It was a time of expansion, with the population increasing due to Harry’s leadership. This era laid the foundation for what was to come.

Emma

And then we move to the Holy Age, right? What was happening there?

Harry

Correct. The Holy Age was marked by the emergence of religious practices known as Squidity. People prayed to the Squid gods, and the empire’s name changed to ‘The People’s Republic of the United Squid Empire + Pope Horse.’ But it wasn’t all peaceful; Harry had to deal with the Lawson uprising and the first O’Sullivan riot.

Emma

Oh, so there was already rebellion? That’s intense. How did Harry handle it?

Harry

Harry managed to quell the uprisings, but it took a toll. Eventually, he chose to step down and let his heir, Yuma, take over. This marked the beginning of the Royal Age.

Emma

Yuma as the new leader. What was his reign like?

Harry

Yuma was a loyal and active leader. He named the empire PRUSE and created one of the first flags. But his reign was not without challenges; there was another O’Sullivan riot, and he had to choose an heir, which led to some dramatic events.

Emma

Dramatic events? What happened?

Harry

Yuma initially chose Xavier as his heir, but Xavier was executed over false accusations. Yuma then chose Ashton, who would later lead the empire during the Great Migration to Discord, a move prompted by the threat of lag and decreased defenses in iMessage.

Emma

So, Discord became the new home. What was life like there?

Harry

Discord was a safe haven. It was purge-proof and offered new features like voice chats and multiple channels. Ashton developed it further, even creating a Calamari Army to enforce Squid laws.

Emma

Calamari Army? That’s hilarious! But then came the collapse. What led to that?

Harry

The collapse was catastrophic. In October 2019, the walls of the iMessage world fell, allowing purgers to return and destroy the empire. Many were killed, and those who survived migrated to Discord, where a new god, MEE6, emerged to bring stability and new powers.

Emma

MEE6 as a god? That’s fascinating. What happened after the collapse?

Harry

The empire entered the Democratic Age, where leaders were chosen through votes. New laws were introduced, and innovations like the music bot Tony brought both joy and chaos. But peace was short-lived, as the empire faced the Dark Age, where internal conflicts led to its ultimate downfall.

Emma

The Dark Age sounds ominous. What exactly happened?

Harry

It was a time of great turmoil. Max, a former leader, turned himself into a god using MEE6’s magic and led a rebellion. The original royal family, including Harry, joined the movement, casting a darkness over the empire that led to its destruction.

Emma

And then came the Renaissance. Was there any hope of revival?

Harry

There were attempts. Max and Harry discovered the Octhex, a powerful cube that led to the creation of a new empire. But even with this new power, the empire couldn’t fully recover. The Squid Empire’s story is one of resilience, but also of inevitable decline.

Emma

What a journey! From giant squids to divine cubes, the Squid Empire’s history is truly epic. Thanks for sharing this incredible story, Harry.

Harry

Thank you, Emma. It’s been a pleasure to recount the tale of the Squid Empire. There’s so much more to explore, but that’s a story for another time.