Farming Follies

Dave Fields

Good evening, everyone! I just got back from a village farm, and let me tell you, getting up early for that is like running a marathon without the medals. I mean, who needs a 5 AM alarm when you have chickens that think sunrise means ‘time to wake the humans’?!

Dave Fields

So, I decided to join the farmers in the fields. They were all about ‘sustainable agriculture’. I don’t know about you, but I tried to be sustainable too, by sustaining my will to not fall asleep in the cornfield! Have you seen corn? It’s like nature’s security blanket. I was just one ‘shh’ away from a nap.

Dave Fields

Now, let’s talk about the animals. I met some goats, right? These little guys are like the comedians of the farm. They chew on everything! I turned around and one of them was trying to eat my shirt. I was like, 'Hey buddy, that’s not on the menu!' Do you think they’ll start a podcast called ‘Goat Talk’ where they discuss the latest in farm fashion?

Dave Fields

Speaking of farm animals, how many of you have ever fed chickens? (Pause for audience response) Right? It’s like a mini Star Wars battle where the chickens are Jedi and you’re just trying to scatter the grain without losing a finger. You put out some feed and they come at you like it’s Black Friday at a Walmart!

Dave Fields

And then, after all that hard work, we sat down for lunch with a salad made from farm-fresh veggies. It was so good! I mean, this salad was basically a salad on steroids. I took one bite and it was like a flavor explosion—like my taste buds were at a rave. Meanwhile, I compared it to the limp lettuce from the grocery store that looks like it’s been through a breakup. ‘Why did you leave me?’ ‘Because you were wilted!’

Dave Fields

So, the moral of the story is: if you ever get a chance to visit a village farm, do it! Just be ready for early mornings, farm fashion critiques from goats, and salads that will make you question every supermarket choice you've ever made. Thank you, and remember, support your local farmer... or at least your local goat!