Cue Ball Comedy Hour

Danny Pockets

You ever notice how everyone becomes a completely different person when they walk into a pool hall? Like, suddenly everyone's walking around like they're auditioning for The Color of Money. You've got Karen from accounting over there, who can barely operate the coffee machine, suddenly acting like she's Minnesota Fats.

Danny Pockets

They say you need a proper stance to play pool. Feet shoulder-width apart, bend at the waist - basically, imagine you're trying to pick up a dollar bill while keeping your dignity. And the bridge hand? That's when you spread your fingers on the table like you're doing the world's most awkward piano recital. I once saw a guy try so hard to perfect his bridge hand, he ended up looking like he was proposing to the pool table.

Danny Pockets

Anyone here ever try that ghost ball method for aiming? Raise your hand if you've ever pretended to see this invisible ball that supposedly helps you aim. Yeah, that's what I thought. We're all just out here playing pool with imaginary friends. The ghost ball method - because apparently, regular pool wasn't complicated enough, we needed to add paranormal activity to it.

Danny Pockets

And don't get me started on the mental game. They say you need to visualize your shots. I'm visualizing alright - visualizing myself not looking like a complete idiot in front of these people. My pre-shot routine is basically just internal panic and hoping nobody's watching. The only emotion I'm keeping in check is the urge to run away.

Danny Pockets

But you know what's the real trick to playing pool? Confidence. Just walk in there like you own the place, point at random balls, and say things like position play and draw shot. Nobody actually knows what they're doing - we're all just trying to look cool while poking sticks at colored balls on a fancy table. And if all else fails, blame it on the chalk. It's always the chalk's fault.