Electric Anxiety: The Automotive Transition

Johnny Volt

Hey everyone! So glad to see you all here instead of at your jobs—especially if you're an auto worker, because that job might not exist by next week! Isn’t it great? The future is electric, and all I can think of is people playing musical chairs with their careers!

Johnny Volt

I hear the auto workers in Canada are facing some uncertainty during this whole EV transition. I mean, when your job security is weaker than my New Year’s resolutions, you know it’s bad! They should be handing out 'Job Scroller' degrees at this point—just swipe right for your next gig!

Johnny Volt

The government is pouring $52.5 billion into the EV industry. I'm just saying, if I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t be investing in cars—I’d be buying a tropical island, and the only vehicles I’d need are scooters and maybe a golf cart! But here we are, giving it to car companies like they’re hosting a game show: 'Spin the Wheel of Fortune, but for electric cars!'

Johnny Volt

So, how many of you are driving electric cars? Raise your hands! (Wait for response) Wow, a lot of hands! Either that or you guys are just really enthusiastic about being environmentally conscious. Either way, I just want to know—do you feel like you’re saving the planet, or just saving on gas money?

Johnny Volt

And then there’s the Brampton plant. They shut down for retooling for 18 months. That's not retooling, that’s a vacation! I can just picture the workers lounging on the beach, sipping piña coladas while their jobs are getting a spa treatment. Meanwhile, they’re getting texts like, 'Hey, don’t forget to check your resume!'

Johnny Volt

But seriously folks, as we head into this electric future, let’s just hope they have a plan. Because if the only thing we’re guaranteed is a shortage of jobs, we’re all going to need new careers as professional 'battery chargers!' Thank you, and remember to charge your own batteries tonight!