Tall Tales and Iconic Blanches

Alex Marlow

Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever wondered if Cate Blanchett is an icon, or if she's just really, really tall? I mean, have you seen her? She's like a walking Eiffel Tower with a British accent.

Alex Marlow

You can't help but look up to her, and not just because of her height. She's got that kind of presence that makes you feel like you're in the presence of greatness. But let's be real, if she were 5'2", would she still be an icon? I mean, would she still be able to reach the top shelf in the grocery store?

Alex Marlow

Hey, audience, how many of you are tall? Come on, raise your hands. You, sir, you're tall. Do you feel like a star? Do you feel like you can walk into a room and command attention just by being there? Or do you just feel like you need a smaller car?

Alex Marlow

You know, in Hollywood, height is everything. It's like a secret weapon. If you're tall, you automatically get the part of the hero. If you're short, you get the part of the sidekick. Or the elf. Or the pint-sized sidekick to the elf.

Alex Marlow

But let's not forget, height can be a double-edged sword. If you're too tall, you might end up as the guy who holds the umbrella for the lead actress. Or the guy who stands in the background to make everyone else look short. Trust me, I've been that guy. It's a lonely life.

Alex Marlow

So, audience, how many of you have ever played the umbrella holder in a movie? Come on, I know you've all done it at some point. You, ma'am, you look like you've held an umbrella or two. What's your secret? How do you not loathe every single person on set?

Alex Marlow

But let's get real, folks. Talent is what really matters. I mean, Cate Blanchett could be 4 feet tall and she'd still be an icon. She's got that kind of talent that makes you forget about everything else. It's like when you see a really good magic trick, and you're like, 'How did she do that? Did she just levitate or did she just give a masterclass in acting?'

Alex Marlow

And let's not forget, some of the most talented people in Hollywood are not particularly tall. Like, who's the shortest person in Hollywood? Is it Tom Cruise? Is it Danny DeVito? Or is it just the guy who's always standing next to the tall people in the background?

Alex Marlow

So, audience, how many of you have ever felt like your talent is overshadowed by your height? Or lack thereof? Come on, be honest. You, sir, you look like you've had that problem. What do you do to make your talent shine? Do you wear platform shoes or do you just outshine everyone with your brilliance?

Alex Marlow

You know, celebrity culture is so absurd sometimes. I mean, have you ever read a tabloid? They'll say things like, 'Cate Blanchett was spotted with a new handbag that costs more than your car.' And you're like, 'Well, I don't have a car, but I do have a really nice bike. Does that count?'

Alex Marlow

And then there's the whole thing about paparazzi. You know, they'll follow celebrities around like they're the most important people in the world. But if you're a regular person, they'll just call you a stalker. It's not fair. I mean, if I follow a celebrity around, I'm just a fan. If I follow a regular person, I'm a creeper.

Alex Marlow

So, audience, how many of you have ever been stalked by a paparazzi? Come on, I know you've all had that moment where you're like, 'Wait, is that guy following me or is he just really interested in my grocery list?' You, ma'am, you look like you've had that problem. What did you do to get rid of him? Did you call the cops or did you just invite him for coffee?

Alex Marlow

So, let's talk about height and stardom. How many of you think you're tall enough to be a star? Come on, be honest. You, sir, you look like you could be a star. What do you think? Are you ready for the spotlight? Or are you just happy to be the guy who holds the umbrella?

Alex Marlow

And you, ma'am, you look like you could be a star. What do you think? Are you ready to take on Hollywood? Or do you just want to be the next big thing in platform shoes?

Alex Marlow

So, audience, what's your take on height and stardom? Do you think it matters? Or do you think talent is the real key to success? Come on, let's hear your thoughts. You, sir, you look like you have a lot to say. Go ahead, the mic is yours.

Alex Marlow

You know, tall people have a certain psychology. They're used to being noticed, to being seen. They're like the peacocks of the human world. But have you ever wondered what it's like to be a tall person in a world of shorter people? It's like being a giant among dwarfs. Or a giraffe in a zoo. But a really cool zoo.

Alex Marlow

And then there's the whole thing about being tall in small spaces. I mean, have you ever been in an elevator with a tall person? They have to crouch down like they're in a submarine. Or have you ever seen a tall person try to sit in a compact car? It's like watching a giraffe try to fit into a suitcase.

Alex Marlow

So, audience, how many of you are tall and have to deal with these issues? Come on, raise your hands. You, sir, you look like you've had that problem. What do you do to make it easier? Do you just buy bigger cars or do you just learn to crouch really well?

Alex Marlow

You know, height can do wonders for self-confidence. It's like when you're tall, you feel like you can take on the world. Or at least the top shelf at the grocery store. But what about short people? How do they build self-confidence? Do they just wear taller shoes or do they just work on their inner game?

Alex Marlow

And let's not forget, self-confidence can come from anywhere. I mean, I once met a guy who was 5'2" and he had more confidence than a Greek god. He was like, 'I may be short, but I'm a force to be reckoned with.' And you know what? He was right. He was a force to be reckoned with.

Alex Marlow

So, audience, how many of you have ever felt like your height affects your self-confidence? Come on, be honest. You, ma'am, you look like you've had that problem. What do you do to boost your confidence? Do you just wear taller shoes or do you just work on your inner game?

Alex Marlow

But let's get back to Cate Blanchett. She's not just tall, she's versatile. She can play anything from a queen to a queen. She's like a chameleon, but with a British accent. And a height advantage.

Alex Marlow

I mean, have you seen her in 'The Lord of the Rings'? She's like a tall, elegant elf. And have you seen her in 'Blue Jasmine'? She's like a tall, neurotic New Yorker. And have you seen her in 'Carol'? She's like a tall, elegant 1950s housewife. Or a tall, elegant 1950s housewife with a British accent.

Alex Marlow

So, audience, what's your favorite Cate Blanchett role? Come on, let's hear your thoughts. You, sir, you look like you have a lot to say. Go ahead, the mic is yours.

Alex Marlow

You know, tall actors have a certain screen presence. They can command attention just by being there. It's like when you see a tall actor on screen, you're like, 'Wow, that's a tall person.' And then you're like, 'Wait, that's also a really good actor.'

Alex Marlow

And let's not forget, tall actors can make other actors look smaller. It's like when you see a tall actor next to a shorter actor, the shorter actor looks like a sidekick. Or a pint-sized sidekick to a sidekick. Or a sidekick to a pint-sized sidekick.

Alex Marlow

So, audience, how many of you have ever felt like you were overshadowed by a tall person? Come on, be honest. You, ma'am, you look like you've had that problem. What do you do to stand out? Do you just wear taller shoes or do you just work on your inner game?

Alex Marlow

You know, tall people have a fashion dilemma. They can't just wear regular clothes. They have to wear clothes that fit their height. It's like when you see a tall person on the red carpet, you're like, 'Wow, that's a tall person in a really long dress.' And then you're like, 'Wait, that's also a really good dress.'

Alex Marlow

And let's not forget, tall people have to deal with the whole 'too tall' issue. It's like when you see a tall person in a short dress, you're like, 'Wow, that's a tall person in a short dress.' And then you're like, 'Wait, that's also a really good dress. But it's a short dress.'

Alex Marlow

So, audience, how many of you have ever felt like you were too tall for your clothes? Come on, be honest. You, sir, you look like you've had that problem. What do you do to make your clothes fit? Do you just buy bigger sizes or do you just work on your inner game?

Alex Marlow

You know, tall people have a lot of myths and legends. It's like when you see a tall person, you're like, 'Wow, that's a tall person.' And then you're like, 'Wait, is that person a giant?' Or a demigod. Or a demigod with a British accent.

Alex Marlow

And let's not forget, tall people have a lot of advantages. They can reach things that others can't. They can see things that others can't. They can even eat things that others can't. Like, have you ever seen a tall person eat a lollipop? It's like watching a giraffe eat a popsicle. But a really cool popsicle.

Alex Marlow

So, audience, what's your favorite tall person myth or legend? Come on, let's hear your thoughts. You, ma'am, you look like you have a lot to say. Go ahead, the mic is yours.