The Great Chainama Fantasy League Roast Session

speaker1

Welcome back to the Chainama Fantasy League podcast, where we roast, praise, and dissect the latest performances. I’m your host, Mike, and today I’m joined by the one and only, Joe. Get ready for a spicy session as we break down Gameweek 19 and Gameweek 20. Joe, are you ready to dish out the heat?

speaker2

Absolutely, Mike! Buckle up, because we’re taking no prisoners. From the top of the table to the very bottom, no one is safe. Let’s start with the reigning king, BeerusTheDestroyer. What do you think about his 69 points in Gameweek 20?

speaker1

Well, Joe, 69 points might sound impressive, but it’s a bit like a lion yawning—it’s not exactly showing its full roar. Beerus has been solid, but he’s starting to look a bit complacent. 1241 overall points is still a strong lead, but M3 Rangers FC is closing in fast. Beerus, you better keep your guard up, or you might just get ambushed.

speaker2

Hmm, I see what you mean. It’s like he’s coasting on his reputation. But you know, sometimes it’s not about the points; it’s about the consistency. Do you think Beerus can maintain his lead, or is he going to slip up eventually?

speaker1

That’s a great point, Joe. Consistency is key in fantasy football. Speaking of which, let’s talk about M3 Rangers FC. FPL Bob just smashed it with 82 points in Gameweek 20, now sitting just two points behind Beerus at 1239. Bob, where did this energy come from? Did someone threaten to take away his chips if he didn’t perform?

speaker2

Umm, that’s a wild theory, Mike! But it’s true, Bob’s performance this week was like a shot of adrenaline. He’s definitely the dark horse of the league now. But let’s be honest, if he doesn’t keep this momentum, he’s just going to be that guy who ‘almost’ won. No one wants to hear about his excuses in the group chat.

speaker1

Absolutely, Joe. Moving on to FPL Mwimbiny. David Mwila Mwewa scored 71 points this week, bringing his total to 1235. Joe, is he a contender or a pretender? 71 points is decent, but is it enough to challenge for the top spot?

speaker2

Pretender, Mike. Let’s face it—71 points is decent, but it’s not going to win you titles. Mwimbiny is like that one guy at the party who hypes up his playlist but only has one good song. Consistency, David. Look it up. He’s clinging to third place like it’s a life raft. Watch out for Arne Slot me out, who’s creeping up fast.

speaker1

Good point, Joe. Arne Slot me out, Katayi Kafwanfwa, just dropped a ridiculous 91 points in Gameweek 20, bringing his total to 1215. That’s the highest score of the week, Mike. Katayi came to play! But here’s the thing—you’re still in fourth. All that effort and you’re still looking up at three other teams. Painful.

speaker2

True, but if Katayi keeps this up, we might have to start taking him seriously. Until then, he’s just the guy who had a good week. Moving on, let’s get to Buumba FC. Only 64 points in Gameweek 20, bringing the total to 1214. Joe, what happened here?

speaker1

Buumba, your form is collapsing faster than a Jenga tower at a toddler’s birthday party. December was a dream, but January? A nightmare. If this is your idea of competing, you might as well start prepping for next season. But he’s not wrong. Buumba, you’re better than this. Shake it off and come back stronger. Or don’t. It’s funnier that way.

speaker2

Ouch! But it’s true. Now, let’s talk about Kanna1. 86 points in Gameweek 20, bringing the total to 1196. Amon, you’re in sixth place now, and honestly, you’re the epitome of average. You’re like that guy in high school who’s ‘good at everything but great at nothing.’ What do you think about that, Mike?

speaker1

Spot on, Joe. Kanna1 is doing well enough to stay above Bindo, but that’s not saying much. He’s like a vanilla milkshake—reliable but unremarkable. Speaking of which, let’s talk about Bindo. Abigail Ponde scored 81 points in Gameweek 20, now sitting at 1165 overall. Bindo, you’re like that person who sneaks into the party and hopes no one notices. Well, guess what? We noticed, and we’re not impressed.

speaker2

True, but Abigail, you’re climbing the table, even if it’s just to stay above Umwaka wakuwina. Let’s talk about Chama. 37 points in Gameweek 20? You’re not just bad—you’re historically bad. Joe, what do you think about that?

speaker1

Chama, let me be real with you. At 1163 points overall, you’ve officially lost all credibility. Your name means ‘The Year of Winning,’ but the only thing you’re winning is the race to irrelevance. Change it to Umwaka Wakulusa—‘The Year of Losing’—because that’s your legacy.

speaker2

Ouch, that’s brutal, Mike. Moving on to Exquisite Classics. Philimon Nchimunya scored 76 points this week, bringing his total to 1120. Philimon, there’s nothing exquisite about this. Your team is as classic as a rusty Volkswagen Beetle. What’s going on here?

speaker1

For real, Philimon, your team name sounds like a fine wine, but your performance is boxed wine at best. You’re ninth in the league. Ninth! That’s a position no one brags about. You’ve got better form than Umwaka wakuwina, but that’s like being the tallest hobbit. Step it up, or just admit you’re here to make up the numbers.

speaker2

And last but definitely least, Master Of Coins, Lweendo Mulando. 56 points in Gameweek 20, bringing the total to 1056. Lweendo, I’ve seen spreadsheets with more creativity than your team. What’s the strategy here? ‘Accumulate as few points as possible?’

speaker1

Right? ‘Master Of Coins’? More like ‘Master Of Wooden Spoons.’ You’re dead last, and it’s not even close. At this point, you’re not managing a team—you’re babysitting it. Here’s some free advice: use your chips, change your captain, and maybe pray to the fantasy gods. Whatever you’re doing now isn’t working. Dead last isn’t a strategy—it’s a cry for help.

speaker2

And that’s it for the middle teams and the basement dwellers. To sum it up: Kanna1, you’re forgettable. Bindo, you’re almost relevant. Umwaka wakuwina, you’re the league’s punching bag. Exquisite Classics, stop lying with your team name. IWantYourMoney, you’re broke. And Master Of Coins, you’re a fantasy football tragedy. Until next time, this is the Chainama Fantasy League Podcast, signing off!