The Big Dookie Debate

Evander

Ladies and gentlemen, today we have a very important topic to discuss. It's a matter of great significance and utmost seriousness. We're going to talk about... who takes the biggest dookie?

Vinnie

Wait, what? We're gonna talk about dookies? I thought we were gonna do a serious debate or something.

Evander

Oh, this is serious, Vinnie. Very serious. I mean, think about it. The size of your dookie can tell a lot about your diet, your health, and even your personality!

Vinnie

Okay, okay, I see your point. But I have to say, I think I take the biggest dookie. I eat a ton of fiber, you know. All those fruits and veggies. It really builds up.

Evander

Ah, but Vinnie, it's not just about the volume. It's about the density. I drink a lot of coffee, and you know what they say about coffee and dookies. It's like a super-dense, compacted masterpiece!

Vinnie

Coffee? That's just water with a bit of a kick. Fiber, on the other hand, is the real deal. It's what gives your dookie that solid, substantial feel.

Evander

Ladies and gentlemen, what do you think? Who do you believe takes the biggest dookie? Evander with the coffee or Vinnie with the fiber?

Vinnie

Come on, audience, don't be shy! Raise your hands if you think I'm right, or if you think Evander's got the edge here.

Evander

You know what, Vinnie? I think we should settle this once and for all. How about a 'dookie-off' right here, right now? We'll see who's the real champion!

Vinnie

A dookie-off? Are you serious? This is getting a bit ridiculous, Evander.

Evander

Well, if you're not confident, maybe you should just concede. But if you're willing to put your dookie where your mouth is, let's do it!

Vinnie

Alright, fine. But if I win, you owe me a big favor. And if you win, I'll buy you a year's supply of coffee.

Evander

Audience, what do you think? Should we go for it? A dookie-off to end all dookie-offs!

Vinnie

Alright, let's hear it, folks! Who's ready to see us settle this once and for all?

Evander

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we've had a great debate today. Whether it's the fiber or the coffee that wins, the real winner is our friendship. Thanks for joining us, and remember, always stay regular!

Vinnie

Absolutely, Evander. And if you ever need a friend to talk about these important things, I'm always here. Thanks, everyone, and good night!