War and Peace and Punchlines

Alex Morgan

You know we're living in weird times when a world leader can start a war with a tweet. It's like the modern version of declaring war by throwing down a glove, except now it's throwing down an emoji.

Alex Morgan

Remember when wars were about territory? Now it's about who has more followers. I saw a headline: 'Country's military strategy leaked through TikTok dance challenge.' What's next? Revealing nuclear codes through Instagram Stories?

Alex Morgan

And these sanctions, right? We're fighting a war by unfollowing countries on social media. 'We hereby revoke your Netflix subscription!' That'll show 'em. World War III will be won by whoever still has access to their Spotify playlist.

Alex Morgan

Economic sanctions are like passive-aggressive roommate behavior on a global scale. 'Oh, you're invading countries? Well, we're taking away your McDonald's!' That's not a punishment, that's a health intervention.

Alex Morgan

Anyone here good at economics? [Wait for response] Neither are the people implementing these sanctions. It's like trying to solve a Rubik's cube by removing all the stickers - technically you've done something, but nobody's impressed.

Alex Morgan

The whole thing is like a giant game of economic Jenga. We're all pulling out pieces hoping the whole thing doesn't collapse, but someone's definitely going to knock over the table eventually.