The Adventures of a Date with Simon

Alex Rizzo

So, I had this really fun date yesterday with Simon, Hilde's queerplantonic partner. We were supposed to meet up, and I thought we were just going to hang out at a cafe or something. But no, Simon had other plans. We get to the meeting spot, and he's like, 'See that huge skyscraper living tower? On top of that is the highest rooftop terrace in Brussels. In ten minutes, we have an appointment with a real estate agent to invest in a property there. Are you ready to see the terrace?' I was like, 'Uh, I thought we were going to a coffee shop.' But before I knew it, we were on a heist! Can you believe that? A heist within 10 minutes of a date!

Alex Rizzo

So, we get into this high-end building, and the real estate agent is all professional and stuff. She shows us this fancy apartment, and I'm feeling a bit bad about wasting her time. But then she points at this cool community-run place and says, 'Those squats should get removed soon. This place will really start to return on its investment in about 10 years.' I was like, 'Oh, well, I don’t feel so bad anymore.' And she had no interest in our elaborate backstory. The roof terrace was indeed very cool. I mean, who needs a real estate agent when you can just charm your way in, right?

Alex Rizzo

So, we finally get to the roof terrace, and it's breathtaking. I’m like, 'Simon, this is amazing!' And he’s like, 'I know, right? We did it!' And then I’m thinking, 'What have I gotten myself into? This is the most adventurous date I've ever been on!' And the best part? We didn’t even buy the property. We just got to enjoy the view and the thrill of the heist. Audience, have you ever been on a date that started with a heist? No? Well, now you know what you're missing!

Alex Rizzo

After the heist, we decided to grab some coffee and hang out at a skate park. We played this game called 'Curious Date or Serial Killer?' where you ask each other questions that could be asked either by an inquisitive first date or a serial killer. Like, 'Do you run? What is your fastest time?' or 'Are you trusting of strangers?' I’m like, 'What kind of date is this?' But it was actually really fun. We were both trying to figure each other out, and it was a bit nerve-wracking, but in a good way.

Alex Rizzo

And then we got to the question, 'If you were to die of natural causes, what is the most likely cause?' I’m like, 'Uh, I don’t know, maybe a heart attack?' And Simon’s like, 'No, I think it’s more likely to be a brain aneurysm.' I’m thinking, 'Is this guy for real?' And then he asks, 'Can I blindfold you?' I was like, 'Um, right now?' And he was like, 'Yup!' I had forgotten he was still playing the serial killer game. So, I lead him into a blindfolded dance to 'Space Odyssey,' and he was so insanely trusting that I almost had to slow him down instead of being able to freak him out. It was hilarious and a bit intimate.

Alex Rizzo

We ended the dance face to face, two seconds away from kissing. I could see it. But I wasn’t done yet. I said, 'Sit down, now we’re playing the three-minute game.' And he was like, 'Okay, what’s that?' I did a messy job of explaining, but he was up for it. So, we began. What does he want me to do for him? Cuddle him. This was very cute and we got to touch each other’s bodies a lot. What do I want him to do for me? Play with my hair. This got very hot very fast. We did it face to face, and he really got to showcase his firm touch. Some very good almost-kissing moments.

Alex Rizzo

We were really into it, and then he said, 'What do I want to do with you? Kiss you.' And he worked up to it slowly, and then we kissed. Aaaaaah, so good. We debriefed the game, and he admitted that taking was very difficult for him. So, I suggested doing another round of freeflow taking. No pre-arranged activities, just free play, and he should definitely give feedback or tell me to stop when appropriate. This was super hot. I go first and do some shibari style manipulations, and he makes good use of his turn again. It feels amazing. He has a very, very good touch.

Alex Rizzo

After that, I’m out of games, and we just make out for quite a while. We sit opposite each other, and I put my legs over his, intending to sit in that comfortable tantric position. But he grabs me and pulls me into his lap. I don’t sit on a lot of laps. Most people think I’m heavy, and even if they don’t, I’m afraid to be heavy, so I don’t even go there. But he wants me there. It’s clearly so much his thing. And so I want to be there, and it’s a new thing to want. I feel really warm here, wanted, and cherished. It feels very good.

Alex Rizzo

And then, we make a stop at a small supermarket, and while we’re waiting for the cashier to appear, he grabs me, and we make out while we wait. We make out while we wait! Jan will know how much I appreciate this moment. It was so spontaneous and hot. Have you ever made out with someone while waiting in a supermarket? It’s a whole new level of intimacy, let me tell you.

Alex Rizzo

So, we debrief our date, and I say, 'I had a lot of fun. This is great data for my hypothesis. How about you?' And he says, 'You are completely crazy and I like it.' We agree on zero relationship expectations, but he says, 'I would like to see you somewhat soon.' And I’m like, 'What a coincidence, I want that too!' It was a really fun and adventurous date, and I can’t wait to see what happens next. But for now, I’m just going to enjoy the memories of that rooftop terrace, the blindfolded dance, and the supermarket make-out session. Audience, what’s the wildest thing that’s ever happened on one of your dates?