Moony Business

Luna Star

Hey everyone! So, I just got back from a trip to Uranus. Yeah, I know, you’ve all heard that joke before! But I gotta tell you, I was really interested in its moons, particularly one called Umbriel. It’s like the misunderstood child of Uranus, always hanging out in the dark!

Luna Star

You know, Umbriel is so dark it reflects less light than my ex after I told him I was moving on. Seriously, they say it has a 'low albedo.' That’s just a fancy way of saying it’s the goth kid of the Solar System! I mean, how does a moon get so many craters? Did it lose a fight with an asteroid? Or was it just trying to find its place in the galaxy? "I’m just a rock, leave me alone!"

Luna Star

Alright, by show of hands, who here has heard of Umbriel? [Pause for hands] Wow, that’s more than I thought! So, what’s the deal? Did you guys just study 'moons of Uranus' for fun? Or were you just trying to impress a date? 'Hey baby, you know Umbriel? It's got craters!'

Luna Star

But the best part about Umbriel? It’s tidally locked with Uranus! Can you imagine? They’re so close, it’s like they’re in a long-term relationship, but only one of them is allowed to face the other. It’s the ultimate relationship goal! No awkward eye contact during a fight, just a constant staring contest. ‘You stay over there, I’ll stay over here!’

Luna Star

And let’s not forget about the Voyager 2 flyby in 1986. I mean, that was the last time Umbriel had a close-up! It’s like that friend who posts one good picture on social media and never updates again. We're all just left with those 80s vibes! Come on, Umbriel, we need an Instagram! You can’t just stay in the dark all the time!

Luna Star

So, next time you're looking up at the night sky and see a moon, just remember – it might not be as popular as the others, but it’s just trying to find its place in the universe. And hey, if you ever find a dark moon with a lot of craters, just know it might be Umbriel, or maybe just a really sad rock. Thanks for listening, everyone! Stay bright out there!