The Car Salesman from Hell

Erik Jensen

So, ladies and gentlemen, have you ever met a car salesman so bad that they're practically a supervillain? Meet Kaapo Koskinen from Jyväskylä. This guy is not just a salesman; he's the oppressor of the elderly and the bane of the Finnish car market. You know, they call him 'Alistaja' for a reason. But more on that later.

Erik Jensen

First off, let's talk about his racism. I mean, this guy doesn't just sell cars; he sells them with a side of prejudice. He's so racist that if he could, he'd probably give discounts based on skin color. But instead, he just sells old, broken Renault Masters to the elderly. It's like he's trying to get rid of the competition, one old person at a time.

Erik Jensen

And speaking of the elderly, have you ever tried to sell a car to someone who's 90 years old? It's like trying to convince a sloth to run a marathon. But Kaapo, he's a pro. He'll tell them, 'Oh, this 1995 Renault Master? It's like a brand new car! Just ignore the rust and the engine that stops working every 10 miles.' And the worst part? They believe him! Because who would expect a 30-year-old car to be in perfect condition, right?

Erik Jensen

But here's the kicker: this guy is a heavy drinker. Like, heavy drinker. He's been caught black out drunk at work. I mean, how do you even sell a car when you can't remember your own name? And the company is worried because, you know, it's not exactly professional to have a drunk car salesman. But hey, at least he's consistent—drunk and racist, all the time.

Erik Jensen

Now, let's talk about his nickname. 'Alistaja'—the oppressor. You know, it's not just because he sells bad cars. It's because he's an all-around terrible human being. He's so oppressive that if he were a superhero, his name would be 'The Overlord of Used Cars.' But instead, he's just a racist, drunk salesman who preys on the elderly. And you know what? He's succeeded so much that he lives in a mansion. A mansion, folks! While his customers are stuck with broken cars.

Erik Jensen

So, what does the company do about him? They suggest the Minnesota treatment. You know, the place where all the Saka employees end up at some point. It's like a rite of passage, but for alcoholics. But here's the thing: Kaapo doesn't seem to care. He's too busy living in his mansion and playing PlayStation. I mean, how do you even get through a day of treatment when you're more interested in Grand Theft Auto than your own sobriety?

Erik Jensen

And the big boss, Poukkula, is worried. Like, really worried. He's thinking, 'How do we fix this lunatic?' But you know what? I have a better question: how do we stop a car salesman who's so good at his job that he doesn't even need to be sober to make a sale? I mean, this guy is a walking paradox. He's the worst person ever, but also the most successful car salesman in Jyväskylä.

Erik Jensen

So, the real question is, how do we stop this lunatic? Do we send him to rehab? Do we ban him from selling cars? Or do we just let him keep doing what he's doing, because, let's be honest, he's too good at it? I mean, if he can sell a 1995 Renault Master to a 90-year-old, he can sell anything. Maybe we should put him in charge of the whole company. I mean, worst-case scenario, he drinks the company into bankruptcy. Best-case scenario, he drinks the competition into submission.

Erik Jensen

But let's get back to his lifestyle. This guy lives in a mansion and plays PlayStation. I mean, can you imagine the conversations he has with his neighbors? 'Hey, how was your day?' 'Oh, you know, just sold a few broken cars to some old people, had a few drinks, and played some Grand Theft Auto. How about you?' I mean, it's like he's living in a different world, where being a terrible person is a job requirement.

Erik Jensen

And his social life? I mean, who hangs out with a racist, drunk car salesman? Probably other racist, drunk car salesmen. But you know what? He's so rich and successful that he doesn't even care. He's living the high life, and the rest of us are just trying to figure out how to stop him. But hey, at least he's consistent, right? Drunk, racist, and rich. The trifecta of terrible.