Snow White: A Modern Twist

Billy the Bard

Hey everyone! How's it going? So, let's talk about fairy tales. You know, those stories we grew up with? Like 'Snow White'? Yeah, that one is a real doozy! First off, why is the Queen so obsessed with being the fairest? I mean, I get that beauty is power... but girl, it's 2023! We know beauty is subjective! The only thing she should be worried about is her attitude!

Billy the Bard

And then there's Snow White! This girl is literally running away from her toxic stepmom, and what does she do? She finds a house full of seven little guys. I mean, if I were her, I’d be like, 'Well, this isn’t going to be awkward at all!' Imagine that conversation with her friends: 'Yeah, I moved in with seven dwarfs. No big deal. They’re just... a little shorter than me! But they do make great housemates, just don’t expect any privacy in the bathroom!'

Billy the Bard

And can we talk about the dwarfs for a second? They're all hard workers, right? Mining all day, coming home to find Snow White cleaning the house like a 1950s housewife! It's like, 'Guys, do you realize you’re the ones bringing home the bacon? Why is she doing all the chores? Where’s the equality?' At this rate, they should just call the house ‘Snow White and the Seven Roommates’!

Billy the Bard

But seriously, audience, how many of you would open the door to a stranger selling apples? I mean, who does that? Raise your hands if you’d be like, 'Yeah, sure, come on in! I love a good poison apple!' You know, I’d be more concerned about the 'strange' part rather than the 'old woman' part! Like, lady, get your life together!

Billy the Bard

So, the moral of the story? It’s not just about finding your prince or being the fairest of them all. It's about not trusting strangers with fruit. And maybe keep your group of friends a little more diverse than seven short guys in a cottage. Remember people, if life hands you a poisoned apple, just say no! You've got this! Thanks for being a great audience!