Artificial Intelligence and Us

Mohammad Hossein

So, I recently got into a debate with my voice assistant. I asked it for advice on my love life, and it responded, 'Why don't you try swiping right on my sister?' I mean, I already know my assistant can't brew coffee, but I didn’t know it was also a relationship counselor!

Mohammad Hossein

I don’t get it. We have these AI-powered devices, and we still can’t figure out how to make them laugh! I spent an hour trying to get my smart speaker to tell me a joke. It finally said, 'Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!' I was like, 'Great, now I’m talking to a four-year-old.'

Mohammad Hossein

And what’s with the way voice assistants pronounce my name? I said, 'Hey Siri, call me Mohammad.' And it goes, 'Okay, calling your mom.' I’m like, 'Hey, at least give me a heads up before you expose my deep-seated family issues!'

Mohammad Hossein

Have you noticed how our phones seem to know us better than we know ourselves? The other day, mine suggested a playlist called 'Sad Songs for Lonely People.' I was like, 'Wow, thanks for the reminder!' It’s like it’s out there taking notes on my dating life.

Mohammad Hossein

I’m convinced my phone is getting ready for my funeral! It keeps suggesting me 'remind me to buy flowers.' I mean, how about reminding me to call my mom instead? I’d like to stay alive for a couple more years!

Mohammad Hossein

And it doesn’t stop there! My phone is like that friend who always has the worst news. 'Hey, you’ve spent too much time on social media today.' Yeah, thanks for the guilt trip, phone! Next, it’ll be sending me motivational quotes about self-worth.

Mohammad Hossein

AI is great, but have you tried talking to a chatbot? It’s like trying to have a conversation with your grandma after she takes her medication! 'Hi, how can I help you?' I don’t know, I just wanted to confirm my order, but thanks for the existential crisis!

Mohammad Hossein

And don’t get me started on how they handle small talk. I asked one, 'What’s the weather like?' And it replied, 'It’s raining in your heart.' I’m like, 'What do you mean? I just wanted to know if I need an umbrella or a therapist!'

Mohammad Hossein

I can see it now: future generations will tell their kids, 'You know, back in my day, we had to talk to real people. Now, we just outsource our conversations to robots that have emotional issues!'

Mohammad Hossein

Smart fridges are the new trend. I got one that tells me what’s expired. The other day, it yelled, 'Hey! Your milk is two days old!' I replied, 'Shut up, fridge! You’re just a glorified ice box!' Next, it’s going to send my mom a text saying I’m not eating healthy!

Mohammad Hossein

Imagine if smart fridges start doing health checks! 'Hey, Mohammad, your ice cream consumption is off the charts. I’m calling your doctor.' Now my fridge is my nutritionist? That’s a level of embarrassment I can’t handle!

Mohammad Hossein

And the worst part? You can’t even hide snacks from it. It remembers everything! 'Hey, you had that pizza last week. Why are you looking at food ads now?' Mind your business, fridge!

Mohammad Hossein

These days, Google really thinks it can replace therapists. You type in 'How to deal with anxiety?' and it says, 'Have you tried yoga?' I’m like, 'No, I tried googling it. What’s next? Am I going to start talking to my search bar?'

Mohammad Hossein

And the ads! I searched for 'best ways to cope with stress,' and now I’m getting ads for adult coloring books! Google thinks it knows me better than I know myself. Next, it’ll suggest I get a pet rock for emotional support. 'Congratulations! You’ve leveled up to the emotional maturity of a six-year-old!'

Mohammad Hossein

And the worse part? My therapist charges $150 an hour, while Google just wants my soul! 'Here’s a free consultation, but you’re going to be targeted by ads forever!'

Mohammad Hossein

Autocorrect is the devil in disguise! I texted a friend, 'I can’t wait to see you!' and it turned into, 'I can’t wait to eat you!' If we ever go out for dinner, I’m bringing a fork... just in case!

Mohammad Hossein

And of course, it always seems to misinterpret the simplest messages. I tried to send my mom 'I’m on my way,' and it sent 'I’m on my way to the grave.' Thanks, autocorrect, now she’s going to worry I’m having an existential crisis!

Mohammad Hossein

Who needs enemies when you have autocorrect? It’s like your phone is sitting there with a smirk, waiting to ruin your life one text at a time. 'Hey, I know you didn’t mean that, but let’s see how it plays out!'

Mohammad Hossein

Sometimes I feel like we’re training robots to take over. I mean, think about it! We’re teaching them how to do everything, and meanwhile, I’m sitting here struggling to open a jar of pickles. Who’s the real idiot in this relationship?

Mohammad Hossein

Robots are learning so fast! I asked one to play chess, and it wiped the floor with me. I lost in five moves! Now I’m just sitting here thinking, 'Great, not only can it outsmart me, but it’s probably judging my every move!'

Mohammad Hossein

And the worst part? When they take over, they’ll look back at our history and say, 'Why did we let these humans handle anything? They couldn’t even figure out how to get out of bed without a device telling them to!'

Mohammad Hossein

I once asked Siri to make a sandwich. It responded, 'I can’t do that, but I can remind you to order one.' I was like, 'That’s not the same thing, Siri! If I wanted to just order food, I’d call my mom, and we all know how that turns out!'

Mohammad Hossein

And the irony? When I said, 'Siri, how do I make a sandwich?' it replied, 'First, get a job.' I was like, 'Okay, not a chef, but a life coach now!'

Mohammad Hossein

At this point, I’m not even sure if I’m talking to a voice assistant or a therapist! Next, I'll be asking it about my life choices, and it’ll say, 'Let’s talk about your relationship with your fridge!'

Mohammad Hossein

You ever notice how sometimes technology just decides to go rogue? Like the other day, I was on a video call, and my computer froze in the funniest pose! I looked like I was trying to solve world peace while having a seizure!

Mohammad Hossein

And then it unfreezes at the worst possible moment! Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just sitting there like, 'Yeah, I totally meant to do that. My computer and I are just experimenting with some new yoga poses!'

Mohammad Hossein

What’s worse is when it happens to someone else! You can see their face turn red, and they freeze on camera. People aren’t laughing at your work; they’re laughing at your face! At that moment, you're just praying it’s not your boss!

Mohammad Hossein

Chatbots are supposed to help us. But have you ever gotten stuck in a conversation with one? You're just trying to order a pizza, and it starts asking about your childhood! I’m like, 'I just wanted pepperoni, not a therapy session!'

Mohammad Hossein

And they’re so eager to help! I once had a chatbot say, 'Hi there! How’s your day going?' I replied, 'I’m trying to order a pizza.' It responded, 'Well, I hope it’s as cheesy as your jokes!' I’m like, 'Excuse me, I don’t need a roast from a robot!'

Mohammad Hossein

And when they don’t understand, it’s even worse! I asked for 'extra spicy,' and it suggested I try meditation. I’m like, 'No, I want my food spicy, not my mental health!'