Haunted House Arrest

Marnie

Welcome to my life, where my only focus is avoiding my ghostly husband while trying not to trip over my own feet. And they say house arrest is a vacation!

Ghost Hubby

You call this a vacation? I’m stuck here with you, and I can’t even get a good haunting in! This is worse than a family reunion!

Marnie

So, who here thinks being haunted is better than being married? (Pause for audience reaction) Yeah, I’d take a ghost over a husband who leaves his socks everywhere any day!

Ghost Hubby

Oh please, at least I used to clean up after myself! Now you have to deal with the mess of my unfinished business. It’s like you’re living with a ghost...literally!

Marnie

I never thought house arrest would include fighting with a spirit! I can’t even leave the house to escape! At least let me call for takeout!

Ghost Hubby

Takeout? You think I haunt you for your cooking skills? You’re not exactly a Michelin star chef, Marnie.

Marnie

If I wanted to deal with a ghostly presence, I’d have just stuck with my last relationship! At least he’s not complaining about the cooking!

Ghost Hubby

Well, at least I’m not asking for a divorce! I’m just here for the eternal afterlife drama!

Marnie

So here’s my advice: if you ever find yourself under house arrest, make sure your ghost can at least take a hint! Or grab a snack—ghosts don’t like sharing!

Ghost Hubby

And if you see me haunting anyone else—just know it’s because I’m looking for better takeout options!