India: The West's Latest Obsession

Raj Patel

Good evening, everyone! How many of you have heard that the West can no longer ignore India? I mean, I thought they were just busy looking for the next avocado toast! But apparently, the moment they discovered yoga, it was like someone handed them a map and said, 'Here be dragons…and also curry!'

Raj Patel

You ever tried explaining Indian culture to someone who thinks ‘masala’ is just a fancy way to say 'spice mix'? It’s like saying, 'Hey, Italy is just pasta and pizza!' Come on, there’s a whole universe of flavors! You can’t just reduce a country to a condiment! That would be like telling an American they’re just burgers and fries—oh wait, they might actually agree with that!

Raj Patel

So, who here practices yoga? (Waits for hands) Wow, a lot of you! And how many of you have actually read the original yoga texts? (Pauses) Yeah, that’s what I thought! We’re all just stretching in fancy pants while chanting 'Namaste' like it’s a secret passcode to enlightenment. At this point, the only thing we’re unlocking is the door to our local Starbucks!

Raj Patel

And speaking of global village concepts, I love how everyone is talking about this 'global village'—like we’re all having a neighborhood barbecue every Sunday! But let’s be real; my neighbor is still yelling at his TV every time the news comes on! That’s not a village; that’s a sitcom waiting to happen!

Raj Patel

So, if you want to represent India better, just add bright colors, throw on some bangles, and embrace the chaos! Because really, life is too short to blend in. And if the West can finally notice us, we might as well give them a show they won't forget! Thank you and good night!