Customer Obsession and Corporate Life

Tommy Jokes

Hey everyone! Great to see you all. You know, I've been thinking about this whole customer obsession thing. Companies say they put the customer first, but really, I'm just trying to figure out how to put my sanity first! Ever been on a customer service call? It feels like a hostage negotiation! 'Please, sir, let me help you!' And I'm like, 'How about you just let me hang up?'

Tommy Jokes

They say we should embrace challenges at work. I embraced the challenge of waking up early to get to work on time. But have you ever tried to wake up at 6 AM? My bed is like, 'Nah, buddy, you belong here! This is your happy place!' I’ve realized my bed is my true soulmate. It's the only relationship where I never feel let down.

Tommy Jokes

And let’s talk about corporate values for a second. My company says we 'strive for excellence.' Strive? More like 'struggle to survive!' The only thing I consistently excel at is pretending to work while browsing memes. Excellence? Just give me a sticker for 'Most Likely to Scroll on Company Time.'

Tommy Jokes

How many of you are working in a job where you have to fake enthusiasm? (Wait for hands) Look at all these professionals! You know what that's like, right? It's like being a cheerleader for a sport you don’t even care about. ‘Go team! You can do it!’ But inside, I’m just praying for the game to end so I can go home and binge-watch Netflix.

Tommy Jokes

And here's the kicker: they say we need to communicate transparently. Transparent? How about if I just start wearing a shirt that says, 'I’m totally lost,' or 'I have no idea what I’m doing!' That's transparency I can get behind. Just imagine those team meetings – 'Let’s be transparent, shall we? I’ll go first: I’m here for the snacks and the Wi-Fi.'

Tommy Jokes

So, in conclusion, remember: whether you’re customer obsessed or just trying to survive your cubicle, life is too short to take it seriously. Embrace the chaos, laugh at your bosses, and when in doubt, just call in sick! Thanks for being a fantastic audience!